A Soft Place to Rest

There is a certain amount of joy that comes from hearing the sound of your own happiness.

Money is an annoying necessity. It is something we must have to provide the most basic needs of our home, but it is also the secret destroyer. It creeps in and causes great havoc.

Some won’t marry the one they desperately love if they don’t have it. Some compare suitors based on who has more of it to offer. Some don’t have it, and will do anything to obtain it, not always for themselves, but for others who depend on them.

Money isn’t really evil. It can do great things. It brings security, charity, and commitment to personal growth. It allows one to shower loved ones with the means to keep them safe and secure, it offers hope to those who have none, and it allows one who has it to focus on more interesting life pursuits.

As for myself, I think of money as something that needs careful handling. As a Capricorn, I know money is important, but also sinister. One must never grow complacent about it. Let it into your ego and you begin to think having it makes you special, instead of just lucky. Let it become more than a tool to growth, and it will trick you into using it to damage others. Fall in love with it and you fear losing it.

For me, money is best treated like a necessary evil. Never to be underestimated and never to be trusted.

Money is security and possibility, that’s all it is. You use it to do things that grow your soul. Learning, building, stretching, this is how you put money to work. You use it and you control it. Don’t let it get the upper hand.

When you find yourself using it to impress people, become alarmed.

When you find yourself judging others by their lack or abundance of it, become alarmed.

When you find yourself terrified of losing it all, become alarmed.

Money is seductive. It tempts you into believing that it makes up for things. Kindness, growth, humility, and passion.

Money is meant to be used. If you have enough for yourself, you might be tempted to collect it instead of use it.

You might convince yourself that spending it is using it, it’s not. Money needs to go towards something..if you buy things it’s still there..just in the form of things instead of cash.

How to use money? Make it work. Spread it into areas that include other people. Take possibility and make it reality. Build things. Support things. Grow things.

I know. I’m just a woman with a small income, what could I possibly know about having money? I know I don’t need it to be happy. I know how to use it to build things. I know that who I am isn’t about income, it’s about soo much more than that. I’ve lived off very little and I’ve discovered that I am extremely happy with who I am inside. I use my money to grow and every day teaches me that money isn’t the answer to what I need to be happiest. Having the basic necessities means carefully watching my money..but it also teaches me that other things are much more important to me.

Money is an annoying necessity. I treat it that way. I have my eye on bigger dreams.

I think I shall only ever love you in future and I’m ok with that.

B

By this series. It’s an amazing twist on the Sherlock Holmes story arch and I frickin love it!!

Onward!!

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Mary and her multitude of Llama gifts has rubbed off on my co-workers! I turned my back for 5 seconds and when I got back I found a note “For Bekki” and the cutest damned Llama toy. My co-worker, Tim has joined in on the fun. I have no words. I am truly spoiled.

“Is it strange then, to love you though, we have never met? Is it beyond the bounds and past the point of delicacy? Should I blush now? Should I hide my face and tilt my eyes downward? Is loving you something shameful and disrespectful? Am I to be mocked and chided?”

“Yes, I know. Many love you. Many. But, you don’t trust love, do you? You think it’s not for you. You think it can’t be found in a working man’s realm where deadlines and scripts must come first, right?”

“And yet. And yet. And yet I confound you with it. This seeing of you through every mask and shield. Scare you and enrage you even? Make you nuts with my heart that sees you? Loves you anyway. Yeah, loves you anyway.”

“Yes, I love you..though every single person I encounter would call me every kind of fool. It’s not that I don’t know..it’s that I can’t change what is. It just is. It just exists. It melded quite some time ago with my spine, my heart, my breath. It exists because you do.”

“I see you without filter. Without make-up and without charm. I see you…dirty, disheveled and wondrously lost.”

“You fit inside my heart..that’s all I know. It’s a place you’ve been for ever so long now.”

“Is it strange then?”

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.”

THE ILLUSTRATED

Jalaluddin Rumi

I didn’t expect to love it. It started out quite timidly with no loud fanfare or bubbling laughter, it meandered, it whispered, it silently padded barefooted around the edges of my heart space. It wasn’t love at first or second sight. It just wasn’t…until it was.

Now it’s inside my heart and I would chastise it for getting in there, but realized with a quiet gasp, that it simply belongs there. It made a place for itself among my tenderest sighs quite without my noticing.

This book. This lovely fucking book. Has found the softest place in my entire body, and made its home there all tidy and sweet.

I can’t explain. It just whispered my name, and I found myself answering like a stunned suitor.

To love a book is bliss, but to be completely adopted by one is something sacred.

This passage was the beginning.

They timed Sara in this chapter. Timed how long it would take her to look up from her book. A crowd gathered and they all hushed their voices in wonder at how long she could read without realizing she was being observed. This segment was the most delightful and wondrous thing. It’s indescribable the feeling of falling in love with a moment in a book. It’s not about romance, or laughter, or wonder, it’s about a small still moment that finds something inside you, that you were unaware was looking for this feeling. This feeling you needed but only a moment in a book was able to unearth and cherish within you.

The joy of reading is all about finding bits of myself and falling in love with her gently.

I can’t explain any better than that.

Tracing your face with my finger
I am fates finest fool.
Wishing upon stars that I’m told burned out, ages ago.
I’m much too hopeful given my history.
I should let go
but my feet stay rooted
even as my ass is booted.
Strange how the knowing
holds me hostage,
wondering about sanity
and the sinister cost of faith.
 

On the first day: You learn that you are nothing.

On the second day: You learn that you are everything.

On the third day: You learn that you can replace nothing, with no one, and everything, with everyone.

Working on book 2!

I have 4 sisters, 4! And every stinking one of them is going through health issues. How the fuck is the unhealthiest of us 5 (namely me since I am, and have always been, the original couch potato/ book-nerd queen) the one experiencing the least health issues? Is it just not my turn yet and I don’t know it?

Joey D has been diagnosed with severe advanced spinal arthritis.

Michelle just had a freaking stroke this week!

Shay, had and appendicitis and had her appendix removed last week AND they discovered a freaking tumor on her uterus!

And Leann was diagnosed with MDS in January!

My heart hurts a lot. I hardly ever see my sisters and they are all apparently falling apart.

Why does getting old equate to bodies breaking down? I’m only 46 for fucks sake! (Spell-checker tried to change that to ducks and I switched it back. I can curse if I want you asshole!)

Ps. I’m cussing cause I care so sue me!

I loaded a book onto my Libby reader and had no idea…absolutely no clue..that it wouldn’t just be a normal romance..nope. It’s the hottest love story I have EVER read (with the exception of my favorite book of all time Kiss of the Highlander by Karen Marie Moning because, let’s be honest..there is no character hotter than Drustan MacKelter… ok!)

I think, for me, the reason this book is setting me on fire is that it’s pretty much EXACTLY my idea of the perfect way to be seduced. Pretty much 100%.

I live in my head soo..yeah..I might need to not read this at work or on the bus…awkward!