A Soft Place to Rest

My birthday is coming up in about 2 more days. I requested and received 2 additional days off this week as my birthday present to myself. Today I got groceries and then did absolutely nothing!! Yay! Celebrating that I did that because, I usually clean and fuss on my days off..but not this time! I’m going to hang out and do whatever floats my boat!

I have to take Summer to the vet tomorrow but, other than that, I will probably just chill out, sew, and work on my Astrology blog postings. I am kinda looking forward to seeing how the sewing project progresses ( more on that tomorrow!).

Good night Sweet Cinnamon Buns!

They titled this clip “How I met your mother!” But, I’m not like other people…I wouldn’t be able to marry him cause, I’d have already buried his body. 👅

Nobody lives after they see me dance.

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Well, I almost had a copy editor for my Hamilton book…almost. Apparently, Children’s books are quite different from other genres and mine will need to be done by someone who specializes in that area. It’s kinda funny because Hamilton isn’t my normal genre and all my future books will probably not even be in that genre… nonetheless, I’ll need to keep looking. Oh, and I’m going to take up my writing again. The hard part is deciding which book to do. 🤔

There is one thing though, she said my writing is good. ☺️

Ever pushed carts in a snowstorm at a parking lot that hasn’t been plowed yet? I don’t fucking recommend it! They let me leave early because OMFG am I sore! I could only manage 3 carts at a time and even that was like pushing through peanut butter.

Heating pad is, once again, my boyfriend. Seeing as no man is applying for the position he will probably be so for an eternity.

Soo, it was 12 midnight and I was attempting to get some sleep finally. When, suddenly, out of nowhere, my brain goes…”I wonder if the honey in my cupboard has gone bad from when Shay was here, it’d be a shame if you wasted it” the voice sounded like my grandma, not gonna lie. Soo…I found myself looking up the shelf life of honey at 12 fucking midnight.

This…is my brain, every fucking night.

Yay!

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Oh, since you are now wondering…Honey can live indefinitely on your shelf as long as it’s properly stored at room temp with a good seal. Manufacturing sets it at 2 years, but that’s mostly because they want to sell more honey and 2 years seemed kinda fair.

You’re welcome.

Ah yes! The after Christmas! Not nearly as much fun but, still needful.

I cleaned out the cats’ litterbox, took out the trash and made myself brekkie.

I wonder what I’ll get up to today.

I found these cute cookie-cutters at the store and decided to make sugar cookies with them. The box mix actually has sprinkles that go into the actual mix and I think they look cute! I might try it with them on top for the next mix (it came with two in the box, one Santa and the other snowmen)

I think they came out ok for me..I am a basic cook.

I’ll add a bit of icing to these and have fun eating them for the next 2-3 days.

Hope you are having as good a Christmas as I am!

Wanna listen to the Playlist I’m playing?

Discovered is a list of cool music I discovered in the last few years. Some are familiar to most people but, a few might surprise you!

Eggy is actually sleep up above Summer. I call them my “Sunny-Side-Up” cats. What can I say, I love Puns!

Z sent me photos of himself (which I requested for printing and putting on my wall) and included a photo of my Grandcat, Spooky.

I took photos of all the hilarious sweaters of my co-workers at work. I love the punny ones best!

Also, I got my Quincy’s Tavern Exclusive Coco the Griffin! He’s soo cute!

Lastly, I found this poem my stepmom wrote on Shay’s Facebook archive, I didn’t even know my stepmom wrote poetry. It made me tear up.

I found Shay the absolute perfect present for Christmas but, I can’t post about it until she gets it in the mail.

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I am totally excited! Yup..I really am! How fucking cool is it that I am nearing 50?!! Holy Shit! That’s soo cool! I cannot wait to see what elderly me looks like as I get into my 60’s and 70’s. This shit is totally interesting. I know, I know… I’m supposed to wish back my youth..but, I kinda don’t..I like me this age…I just like that I’ve made it this far without fucking up too badly. Go me! I’m winning at life! I’m winning!

This photo is a few weeks old.. because, as, I’ve mentioned in my previous post..I currently cannot fucking move! Heating pad is new boyfriend.

I left work today after only working 3 hours. I hated doing it because things are truly awful on carts during the holidays right now, and this burdens my team…I hate it but, omg do I feel sick! My whole body is exhausted, sore, over stretched and just plain fucked up! I felt totally and completely run down and gross. I’ve been in bed since I got home and have barely moved. My cats keep checking up on me, which is kinda sweet… annoying, but sweet.

I will work tomorrow but, God help me! I’m going to be using reserved energy from some place deep down…I literally can’t go much longer this way. Thank goodness Christmas is almost here!

B

Whelp, I’ve gone and freaked out my cats with the vaccum monster, once again! Don’t worry, they recovered quite nicely once it was sent back into its vaccum monster den, I promise.

My place always feels more comforting when I’ve given it a bit of attention. I dusted and straighten, moved things about, and generally puttered until my place felt fresher than before.

I also added some essential oil to my ceramic bird that I bought ages ago and haven’t gotten around to utilizing. The scent of lemongrass is really making me relax.

Working on my Astrology blog and having a pretty darn good time describing this couple that has come to mean soo much to me. I tend to pretend the “she” in there isn’t me..it just makes interpretation easier and more honest. Though, to be quite truthful, I kinda love them together…they are just to sweet together. Sigh** 😔

Anyway, that’s me today. I feel pretty dern good. I put all my teacups out and moved stuff around on my meditation nook. Am I the only person who regularly takes apart their fan and cleans it? It just gets soo damned dirty! Also, cleaned all the cat hair off the cat tree beds.. boy was that a lot of pet hair.. omg! 😱

Every time something good happens I write it down. Funny moments, silly things that are said, warm moments that are fleeting and easily forgotten. I don’t write them down just for myself. I write them down because on the date of my death, I want people to know, that they mattered to me. That I spent every moment appreciating my life and their impact on it.

I can sometimes be very awkward, it’s kinda a Capricorn trait, being awkward..Soo, I write down all the stuff I was thinking and feeling that others might not have realized were somewhat special and important to me.

The thing about death is, it’s just one day, unlike the many many days we live! Life passes and people really shouldn’t dwell on the endpoints…it’s the living moments, I think, that people want to be remembered for.

So, I’m anti-funeral, always have been. I think mourning is for lost chances..I want to live so everyone knows how I felt about them at every waking moment. They can miss me..but, mourning is for those who don’t plan to ever see each other again, and I sure as hell will! I plan to create soo many memories that it’s like I’m still here even after I pass away. The real me exists in my writing, in my poetry, in my words. That’s where I live.

It’s the little things you do, that makes your life lived.

Woke up at 6 am. England calling. Then, a text chat with Shay to discuss her application for employment to a higher paying job. Get it girl!

Also, last night out of the clear blue! Summer decided to come sit on my chest. She head butted me. I learned that she’s a drooler, and has a small laceration on her cheek. Seems she and Eggy did, indeed, have some kind of confrontation at some point. It’s already healing, so I imagine it must have happened a few days ago. Oy!

Now I’m just chilling with my breakfast platter.

I’m going to do some Astrology work today and see how life treats me.

Holy mac! My phone issued an emergency alert. The winds are up to 55 miles an hour and the thunderstorm is no freaking joke.

I had to pull my cats out of their favorite cat tree. They weren’t happy about it but, my apartment windows are seriously cheap..very little protection if any debris comes flying into it!

It sounds like an airplane hanger out there!

I finally got to pet Summer. She’s been hiding under the couch and running from me for an entire week. I finally had to break my own code, that of letting them approach me..that wasn’t gonna work with Summer.

Instead I brought her some Whitefish in a bowl and then pulled her out of hiding. She didn’t hiss so I took that as a positive. I held her and talked to her, put on her new collar and let her go. We shall see if she gets better use to me.

Sigh* She’s really beautiful. 😍

My heating pad kicks all your heating pads asses. Just sayin.

I’d say I feel my age but, I’m not 102.

I cried this morning. I cried an extremely embarrassing amount. I was that miserable thinking about work tomorrow. That’s bad.

Thing is, I know the next two weeks are going to be hardcore. I’m the only one scheduled and this is not normal or even partly ideal. On a normal day, you’d have an opener, a mid-shift, and a closer. On busier days like Friday, Saturday, and Sunday having at least 2 mid-shift people is must! You’d run out of carts otherwise.

Now, think it over. I have nobody to relieve me on my breaks..which means I come back to cart mayhem.. especially after lunch. I spend the entire day running like mad. I get kinda grumpy (if I’m honest) and I don’t like that version of me…which is why..I cried this morning.

I’m emotionally exhausted from work and there are still 2 weeks until Christmas!

What a contrast to my feelings when I was informed about how much people wanted to read more of my writing. I was chuffed. I wanted to just sit down and write my heart out.

Soo, I know. I know I would be writing full-time as a career, if only I had the income to stay home and do so.

Soo .. I’ve decided. I’m starting a plan to save up for a years worth of income. My goal will be inclusive of all my bills, less the ones affected by work travel, and a commitment to working on my dream to be a writer. One year salary. That’s my new goal.

Cross your fingers. I know I can do this.

It will take a bit of sacrifice, but I can do it. I know I can.

$15,000….no hyperventilation allowed.

Even on days where you are not at your best, I love you.

Even when you are cranky, and annoying.

Even when you are emotional and too easily offended.

I love you. Even on days you are not the best you or even the half- best. I love you.

My love doesn’t require you to be beautiful every moment.

Doesn’t require you to be a pristine and flawless version of yourself.

You aren’t required to have all the answers or even have solutions.

You are just you, and I love you.

I love you because even at your worst, even at your uncommon bitter…you are just a person trying to keep going.

Trying to find the correct way. The fair way, the loving way,..the peaceful way.

I know your soul, and even when you act less than perfect, I know your soul shines.

I love you, because you try like hell, every single day, to do better than you did the day before.

I love you, because those hard things you lived through, are the hard things you continue to rise above.

I love you, because those sad things that could have stopped you from being happy, are the sad things you honor now that you are happy.

I love you.. because you are me.

I love you, because loving myself, feels like loving everyone.

It’s the start of each day, this love.

It’s the end of each day, this love.

Why do we exist?

We exist to learn how to love even when we aren’t quite certain we are lovable.