A character conversation

“Don’t let me get use to this” she whispered. He looked at her in surprise, her head upon his shoulder.

“Why don’t you want to get use to it?” he finally answered, tentatively, not liking the taste of the question, but needing to know the answer to it.

“Because you’re uncertain. If you were certain, you would have already acted. People who are ready, don’t hesitate. They don’t hesitate because they have waited and waited and waited, until their mind and heart were both sick of that waiting..and no longer listen to their planned out excuses and procrastination. Those people, the ones who suddenly just know it’s time, they don’t hesitate. You are still hesitating, uncertain about what will happen if you leap off that big scary cliff. You hesitate, which means your mind and heart still aren’t in any sort of agreement.”

He sighed, hating his own indecision. Hating that even with her boldly telling him that she cared for him, he still found himself questioning if she meant it.

Most of all, he hated that she’d said the words his own heart was afraid to say. He was afraid of getting use to her head on his shoulder too! Only he wasn’t brave enough to fucking say it out loud, like she had.

Author notes:

Most people think they have two choices, yes or no. The truth is, there are three choices. Yes, no or don’t decide at all. Both yes and no are in your hands, but not deciding on a choice, can become the choice. You discover the job you wanted has been given to another applicant, that the lover you wanted, has been found by someone who wasn’t afraid to act, that the dream you held dear, has faded with time until there no longer is a dream to chase..only the memory that you once had one.

Not deciding, is deciding..if it’s given too much time on pause. Even a life on pause has no sway over time. Pause only works, if you intend to unpause soon. Look at your choices and then, choose. If you don’t choose, the indecision becomes the choice. Choose. Then sit on that choice for a few days. The way you feel about your choice after you’ve made it, is all that you will ever need to know.

I got my own copy!

Ever since I watched the video of this sweet story, I have craved a copy of the illustrated book. I am not ashamed to admit the movie made me cry. It was beautiful, warm, heart-tugging and brilliant! It won an Academy Award, and for good reason. I’ve decided to start a collection of children’s books. Some might think it silly of a grown adult to collect books meant for children but, as an aspiring writer of stories, I figure surrounding myself with brilliant inspiration can’t go far amiss. Besides, children never read these books alone. I have quite a few sweet memories of nights reading to a certain little boy of mine. 🤗

Dear Shay,

Shay is coming for a visit next month!

I’m already making a list. 🧾

•Foods Shay will like.

•Ways to entertain Shay while I’m at work.

•Things to wash, prepare or make pretty for Shay’s visit.

My place is small but, I’ll make damned certain it’s welcoming! 😊

Spring Cleaning!

I think I’m insane, just in case you wondered. I have compiled a list of cleaning to do today and, well, the list is incredible! I might just move and start over. What is it about Spring that has me rolling up my sleeves and cleaning shit nobody cares about? Ok, ok.. those who live here (Eggy and me!) care but, honestly, I am a freaking over-achiever!

Thus far, (this weekend and last weekend) I have cleared out my upper cabinets and restocked. Put away all my Winter gear (I’m up shit creek if the weather turns) replaced my old bedding with new Summer bedding (adds washing bedding to the list), cleaned and sanitized my impressive collection of masks (23 at last count!) and cleaned up the area below my nightstand.

This morning I have already done the dishes, cleaned and sanitized my frig, (no small feat given the number of storage containers I had to bravely open and dispose the contents of :::shudder:::) I also cleaned the little plastic dome that covers my lightbulb in the frig and that fucker cut my fingertips open! (my two favorite fingers, in fact) I bled all over the damned place!, and I’ve also taken my recycling to the recycling bins.

Each time I complete a large task I take a 30 min break as a reward.

Still left to do today and tomorrow:

• Vac and straighten the living area.

• Laundry (puts Winter bedding on the sub-list)

•Groceries (with my cute new groceries wagon!)

•Wash & Sweep Kitchen and Bathroom floors.

•Buy new litter and clean Eggy’s box (I keep it pretty clean given how small my place is but, I’m not liking the current litter my friend gave me as a cat-welcoming gift) I’m getting the stuff I initially bought again as I like it better.

•Declutter my dining table. (Sounds scarier than it is, the thing has become a catch-all for piles of books, mail and various other junk)

•Clean the under-sink area (this is annoying but doable.. meh! I hate clutter!

Ps. Eggy thinks I am nutso cutlet!

The frig contents is overwhelming!
Before ick!!
After! Much better. Damn! Now I need to get groceries!
Cleaned and sanitized!

I’m fucking done ever reading the comment section again!

Since when are we all soo fucking important and special that we feel the need to correct, criticize, and challenge every single mistake or error we find on the internet? Why does every troll in the universe find satisfaction in spewing hate toward others? Why TF do I read the damned comments? It never ever ends well for me.

I am just done with it. Really beautiful words and a loving sentiment torn to pieces and the meaning lost, all because someone referred to bowls as plates? Seriously? I just can’t. I just can’t. Someone please save me from the pencil welding ass-fucks of the world who don’t actually read to think, but instead to find something to criticize, jeer at, or otherwise make into a convenient laugh for a few seconds attention. Sigh*

I think I’m getting to old for this shit. I am never never never ever trying to explain why politeness and kindness matters more than correcting people to anyone ever ever again! They all just swim around in their sense of collective superiority and miss the fact that they could have learned something deeper. It just hurts to watch. It’s like watching depth of character disintegrate. Like watching someone miss the point of something profound.

Thinking deep thoughts are, for me, such a lovely blessing. To watch the opportunity for someone to do so to be completely lost in the comment section, is just too fucking painful.

I am truly tired of trying to use common sense on people who have the emotional depth and maturity of a teaspoon. The worst part is, they aren’t even aware of how disheartening it is to go to the comment section looking for gentle warmth and supportive words (because you truly were touched by a post and felt a need to share your feeling)..only to discover… that…other kind of person, instead.

New rule:

Never read the comments.

My heart is happy

Debora Geary stopped writing witch books a long time ago. Her Modern Witch books are, for the most part, largely out of print. Some copies sell for about $100 a freaking book. I was soo incredibly upset when she stopped writing the series.

That’s why I was soo incredibly shocked to realize that she also writes another series I adore under another name. Well hell! I guess you know you like them when you fall in love with the way they write twice! The series I didn’t know was hers is the Dragon Kin series under the name Audrey Faye. I cannot express how much I love dragons. This book series makes me swoon it is soo soo good! You cannot imagine the joy I’m feeling because this writer is born to connect people with her writing. It just soothes a part of me down to my inner little girl soul.

I also discovered she wrote 3 books in a spin-off of the Modern Witch series that I didn’t know about. With just 3 books in that series I’m savoring each one very very slowly.

One day I will own copies of all her books. I don’t care how much I have to pay per book. Her writing is fucking amazing!!

If you haven’t been blessed to know the Modern Witch series you have lost something precious. Don’t believe me?? Just search the internet of the people who long for more books in that series..it ended in 2013 but fans long for more just the same.

Good writing is pure joy. Sigh*

Releasing for dummies

Stop trying to control the turning of Fate,

he doesn’t like sharing the wheel.

He has a habit of crashing into things

if you attempt to wrench the wheel away from him.

Hitting things generally has two results:

#1 it hurts

#2 you let go of the wheel.

Fate will do #1,

if it means you finally do #2.

You live in your head

and you bottle up your heart

by controlling everything…

I know this..

but, you need to learn this.

Letting go of control

doesn’t have to hurt.

Fate has very good driving skills.

He has his own custom bike

and he’s been doing this longer than you’ve been alive.

Let

go

of

the

goddamned

wheel!

You meathead!

Bedtime Selfie

Good night!

Thank you universe,

for surprise jokes and the unbridled enthusiasm of youth.

for gentle smiles and knowing winks.

for falling petals and bright new growth on trees.

for giggles and photo snaps.

for selfies and not taking oneself too too seriously.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!