I wash my hair with regret shampoo

it really is difficult
being me
wandering around as I am
with such terribly bad luck.
I went to take a shower
and caught sight of myself in the mirror
(she’s making that face at me again)
Ah hell.

I tried to light a candle
to take a bubble bath
(lots of bubbles to hide my cellulite)
and stare into the abyss of  self-pity
wondering why my lips keep quirking
so annoying.

I contemplated my razor
but then realized
this was too much temptation
(ending it all would be icky anyway)
looks like hairy legs are in season.

I contemplated the underside of my arms
but got discouraged
by the flag-waving skin
So that’s where I put those candy-bars.
I wondered.

I washed my hair with regret shampoo
but then realized
it was laughter conditioner
(must have gotten the labels mixed up)
and that quirky lip keeps returning
damned nuisance these positive thoughts
ruining my pity session.

(To K..for the inspiration)

Published by B

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog. I refer to my favorite person as TMW5T Why? because if he had 6 I'd call him TMW6T, duh!!

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