The last post was officially my 1000th. How cool is that? I have been writing this blog since 2008 during the most difficult time of my life. I never expected to get divorced after 13 years of ok marriage. I never expected to fall in love and find the one person in this entire planet who is so obviously meant to be mine. I never expected to visit England, much less do it 3 times (2 of which was for 6 months) I never expected a lot of things, and yet here I am. Sometimes I wonder what is coming next. I wonder if this whole Science Fiction book thing is a pipe dream or if I will one day look back and give myself a really big pinch to be sure it really, really, happened. I wonder if I have what it takes to make it through to the future I dream about with every waking breath but, most of all, I wonder if I can continue to embrace the Taoism that came to live inside me as introduced by Paul Squires, and nurtured by my poetic heart, into something that makes the hard softer and the fear of failure the firm certainty that I can do it..if I believe enough.
I will return here after the 2000th post and see what I learn from that moment. The same way I am learning from this one.
Edit: How sad and sweet this entry is. M and I didn’t last. We got 6 years and I’m sort-of sad that our relationship ended. Still, he healed, I healed, and his family welcomed my broken soul in and showed me how family truly is when properly respected. I don’t regret anything, I gained too much to be upset or bitter about it. Taoism is still very much leading me forward.