I was thinking about an old friend today. I logged onto my Linkedin account and it asked me if he was someone I knew. It weirded me out because I have not spoken to him in a very long time. We ended our friendship when I had a complete mental and emotional melt-down divorcing my ex husband. Can we just admit here that a divorcing woman is not really herself until about a year after her divorce? I was kind of a basket case and really have no excuse for myself.
Some friendships happen along at the wrong time, but help you despite yourself. I wish I could talk to him and tell him that it wasn’t really him. I was lonely, scared, and completely lost emotionally for quite a while before I found my solid ground again. I should have been a nicer friend. I should have been the kind of person I am now. Confident in myself and my core spirituality. I know me now. I like me now. I am completely different from the me I was then, which is a really good thing, cause I think I didn’t like that me very much. She was needy, whiney and a tad bit full of it. She acted like she had answers, but really she was just pretending.
I have learned a lot about people from listening. It is a skill that takes some getting use to using. Good listening means actually hearing a person, not listening for your chance to add to the conversation and thinking out what you plan to say while the other person is still talking. Listening, is not even considering your response, because you are listening. You are hearing what is said and not said. You are open to that person and seeking to truly understand them.
I wish I had met my friend now. I would really like to know the person I would have been for him, if I had taken more time and had less emotional elements getting in the way.
In the end, you need to accept that you are never really the same person you were yesterday. I wonder if he to has become someone new.
I am glad I knew you. I wish you all the best in life.
Please read my blog once in a while. That way I can still be somewhat of a friend for you in some small way.