Messing with one’s friends

Back when I was living in the UK, my friend M and I, started a feud. It wasn’t a serious feud, it was the type of thing a friend does to another friend, just to mess with them. The type of thing you both secretly enjoy the hell out of. I am here to announce. The feud has gotten a new addition. Can you say “revenge”?

It all started innocently enough, strolling through the local B & Q (Home Depot, to us Americans) when we spotted a bin of 50 p items. Your basic knockoff crap that nobody wanted and they hope you will take off their hands for them. M spotted a huge vinyl sticker of a jeep, done in a particularly green shade that can only be found in camo. To say the thing was hideous, is to under-describe the thing. It was also really, really, big.

M suggested we buy the thing. I gave it my best “ew” face and inquired where the heck he would even put it. “My bathroom” was the reply. M’s bathroom is seriously the size of a postage stamp. That jeep, hideous, putrid green, and huge, in his…bathroom?

I attempted to disagree, and he trumped me the same way he always trumps me. “It’s my flat, I can do what I want” I rolled my eyes and conceded.

Since M posted the story to his 365 project, I am going to post his own story about what happened next.

I’ve no idea why B doesn’t like this jeep!

Well, actually, I do know. We went to a local DIY store and I saw this jeep transfer parked in the bargain bins. Instantly it said to me, “Don’t leave me here sir, I’d be ideal for your bathroom.” I knew it was full of misleading US bathroom propaganda. Still, it was reduced from around £5 to 50p and the sir bit was full of old fashioned politeness, so I thought I’d get it to see how well these wall transfers worked. It was so cheap it was practically a giveaway. Anyway, it’s quite large, camouflage green and eventually I adhered the transfer onto a blank wall in the bathroom after much careful deliberation as to whether it should be positioned near the window, coyly to the side or slap-bang in the middle of the wall. Middle of the wall seemed to be ideal. Yes, it was like the A Team had come home.

Suprisingly, B hated it. She hated it at first glance, and at second glance, actually every glance and I said I’d remove it after a short while. Somehow, its still remained up in place. In a way, I secretly admire the ruggedness of the design, the boldness and the novelty (as it’s not something I’d generally put up for more than a year)

Mysteriously, it began to peel ‘on its own’ after just a few days in random areas while B was here. Very strange for a military product. I suspect there was sabotage involved. There’s no doubt that it’ll be gone at some future point, so this is essentially a record of its passing existence.


but now it’s a new day, isn’t it? M has left me to stay in his flat for a week and 1/2. Which means, it’s technically MY flat for the week. Muhahahaha.

Enter, the deviousness that is my inner me. Meet Tree! He’s going to be M’s friend, for a long, long time.


I’m sure M will love it.


Published by Bexley Benton. (Pen name)

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog.

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