Part of Fortune in Cancer
Self Reliance, Independence, Courage of conviction, and lives by his own ideals.
Fear of being left alone, fear of a lack of control, fear of conflict.
When they were young, this native may have had a tendency to let others have their way. From wanting to please everyone and disliking conflict, they might have become known as “the easy-going one”. The problem is that people aren’t always wanting to be “easy” on the inside. As a result, there might be a bit of self-repression going on. Those with this issue fear the conflict that would come from speaking their mind and letting all that pent up anger out. They may have lived a life of passivity with an underlying anger and/or self-recrimination for not standing their ground more thoroughly.
These issues hopefully will have been addressed as these natives got older, in most ways, but in the area of love, this will possibly crop up and cause problems. This is where natives can be a bit more vulnerable to trip-ups.
The issue is, of course, that people have a right to be upset about the things that bother them, We all have the right to an opinion on things and it is very important that people have their own say, even if the other person has valid points.
Basically, people are allowed to be a cranky bastard on occasion, it’s ok. No, really! It’s ok to not go along with something just because it isn’t something one feels like doing. You don’t have to give up what you want just so someone else is happy all the time.
If you give in all the time then the result is that only one of you will be happy, and that is just not balanced. You deserve to be heard, even if what you are being heard about is your desire to leave the toilet seat up.
POF in Cancer natives can be totally strong in areas of self-reliance and personal independence. The problem comes in when attempting to merge with someone else. Someone with firm ideas about things.
Here is an example:
Fred is a POF Cancer and he just asked his girlfriend to move in:
Here’s where a passivity issue might come up:
Yes, maybe she does like a black and gold aesthetic living-room, and Fred wants her to be happy, but do YOU like black and gold curtains, Fred? Or are you more a moss green and light blue kinda guy? If Fred finds himself not sharing an opinion or maybe giving in on what he would like because it seems to matter much more to her, then he just fell into a passive tone. (Whoops there it is!) If Fred doesn’t share his very real feelings he is going to end up miserably sitting in a living room with tons of her personality and nothing of himself.
As a child, the more aggressive people in a POF Cancer’s life may have made things quite difficult for them. They may have lost a vital part of understanding themselves…that of knowing where their own personal line is.
What is that you ask? Knowing where your line is, is knowing just how much of your independent space you are willing to give up before you need to assert your own will. Knowing how much is allowed before you tighten your backbone and say “No, I don’t want a black marble coffee table! I want some wood here dammit!” The line is how many concessions you are willing to forgo for someone else’s comfort.
That line, for some, is quite flexible, because they really enjoy being led and the unexpected surprises that come from letting go of control. The line for others is quite rigid, they don’t like people touching their stuff and they like being in control of everything. (Of course, I think they could probably use a bit of flexibility.) Knowing your own personal line is all about understanding that your happiness lies in knowing what is too far for you.
My suggestion?: Give yourself a balance. Choose your line and understand what is ok and what is not ok.
“Yes, you can make the curtains gold and the carpet black, but I want a wood coffee table!”
For example, if someone is merging spaces with you, it is perfectly ok to have them put their stuff in your living-room…but what about standing your ground when it comes to your office? It’s your space so why not be a bit more assertive about leaving that space alone? Compromise is your friend in this area.
This native is really warm, kind and maternal. They thrive on caring for others. They have actual joy at seeing others happy. The most important thing they need for continued happiness is a feeling of security. They need to know they have support and anchors for when they find they aren’t on top of everything like they will generally be most of the time. They need to know that even if doing all the things themselves is their happy place, that they do have the ability to stop and let others help if they need it.
The fortune of this person is built on a secure emotional foundation. One in which they feel seen, heard and supported.
Having a space that they can putter about and make cheerful messes is very important to this native. They need a space all their own. Space where their amazing focus can take on a playful tone without needing to concern themselves with anyone or anything else. A bit of a downtime lair or something similar.
This person’s Fortune comes from a solid base to build upon. Having the security and support that allows them to step away when they need to recharge their efforts, is crucial to this person’s success..if they have this, they can do anything!