(ok, this one is gonna hurt a bit but I must be honest soo…here goes.)
This placement is a person who hides their true feelings and desires. This native is very spiritual and very intuitive. A driven person this person delves deeply into their own mind, and into the minds of others. She keeps her selfish desires and needs private from others. This results in others being uncertain about what she really wants. Sometimes she appears driven by forces outside herself. This native feels an overwhelming sense of mission, so much so, that it causes unconscious fears and definite avoidance of opening up to others.
This native lives with a feeling of repression and an inability to express parts of herself. This results in a restless nature. Intense internal feelings and passions that are kept carefully guarded and hidden. Turning her anger into herself she grows despondent when she feels she is not progressing in a manner that furthers her self-improvement or growth.
The use of meditation is vital to the survival. Without it, she will erode under the intense pressure she places on herself. There is a very deep desire to heal others and serve humanity in some manner. This native will be drawn to helping those who suffer abuse, abandonment, and isolation. The feeling of need to perform kind deeds drives this native to heal herself, so she may, in turn, teach others how to do the same healing more effectively and more quickly than it occurred for herself.
Her drive causes fluctuations between anger and compassion, she sees how people self-destruct and agonizes over humanity. The anger comes from seeing too much pain surrounding her and a feeling of helplessness and upset over failing her self-created mission. The compassionate nature is intensified with this placement. She wants to heal but gets angry over the lack of love people offer themselves and others.
This native must be very careful not to neglect herself while working on her various causes. Her causes take a circuitous route. She draws not from physical activity, but from actively using her strongest talents and traits mentally and creatively.
Her strongest traits will be in her use of journaling, writing, and the pursuit of spiritual connections that she translates into written expression.
Sadly, this placement often comes from those who have had to suffer painful experiences. This native defeats their own past by focusing on a healing task they set themselves to balance out the often horrible events of childhood trauma. This native might choose to hide from painful experiences by focusing on how those experiences might be turned around and used for good purposes. This placement is one of finding a way to change pain into something with value. She may suffer bouts of depression and anxiety. She may also become addicted to alcohol, drugs or overeating as a means of coping with these internal stresses. It is very important that this native find meditation or spiritual practices that aid her in her journey of self-expression.
Her relationship with her father was painful. This placement often points to a father who suffered from alcoholism and was not there for the native physically or emotionally. Might have argued passionately with her father, or felt like the parent in the relationship with this father. The need for a true father figure will most likely, lead this native to seeking out acceptance from others. If this native finds her spiritual anchor and connects with her own created philosophy, she will feel much more secure.
This native could choose one of two options when dealing with her fathers alcoholism, she will become an alcoholic herself, or she will fully refuse imbibing for her entire life. She will go all or nothing with this as she is highly susceptible to alcoholism. Her understanding of those who struggle with this issue will be heightened having seen the effects, pains, and sorrows associated with it firsthand. Rather than feeling a sense of anger for this issue, this native will generally have a deep compassion and depth of feeling for those who suffer the affliction. She will have a stronger understanding than most. She will balance between compassion and tough love for those who suffer alcoholism. Both because she has a history with one who suffered the affliction, and because she knows she is capable of this addiction herself. If she has chosen the all-or-nothing path of refusal, her strength and support for those who struggle with alcoholism will be a constant in her life.
The blessing of this placement is a gift of intense spirituality and compassion. If this native forges a loving path of self-discovery, she will be an unparalleled force of healing. Her anger will always be a problem for her, as she is continuously working her soul and spirit to eradicate residual pain and resentments from her past childhood. This will be a struggle she is quite aware of in her path of healing.