Ok. I’m writing this one as if TMW5T, can hear me.
TMW5T, I’m calling you out! Prepare for it because I know you will be defensive as this aspect mentions your mum’s influence, and you love your mum dearly. Please don’t get defensive..instead take this in and mull it over. That’s all I ask. If it doesn’t apply to you read it over and consider the ways in which this aspect still could impact you subtly in other ways. Ok?
Ok. Here goes.
This aspect has mostly good qualities of sensitivity and a loving nature but…this aspect is one found whereupon the native has an underlying and carefully hidden habit of “automatically” giving in whenever they encounter active resistance to their wants and needs.
This is usually in response to a mother influence in which the child learned from watching her that in order to keep the peace with the ones they love, they must adapt to the wants of others or find a way around them in subtle manipulative ways. Generally, this was done to avoid confrontation or conflict.
Their mother may have used charm to get her way quite often or behave submissive, careful not to upset anyone out of a need to keep her family together. She might also have proved susceptible to being charmed herself.
The child would have learned to use this tactic himself on his mother and became aware that indirect methods were more effective on her than direct confrontation.
This, of course, opens him up to a sense of high sensitivity and fear of criticism and an even deeper fear of rejection. This native will work an exhaustive amount of the time trying to avoid both of these things.
This aspect can draw women to him, because he will be quite a sensitive fellow, this native, but these same women will quickly learn to either abuse his habit of acquiescence or struggle from his habit of letting her too easily have her way, even when she prefers for him to be honest and direct with her. He might also annoy her by using this subtle manipulation habit to get his own way. Which will cause no end of arguments. This isn’t an easy change to expect from him as it requires lots of rewiring of old habits and conditioning.
In fact, the woman who truly loves him will definitely not allow these behaviors to continue. It is a mark of her deep love, you see, that she will not. In a healthy relationship the proper balance he needs will be found in compromising instead of manipulation. He should not capitulate just to appease her, and he should not be sneaky about getting his way. She equally shouldn’t indulge in these behaviors either, especially knowing he is even more susceptible.
The balance he needs is in the area of boundaries. This guy really needs them. The art of compromise will greatly assist him in healing from this. You see, while these habits keep the peace, they will also produce deep fears that don’t go away. Fear that if they don’t let their partner have their way, they will leave them and fear of being criticised for not letting himself be manipulated into giving in.
So, there it is. I hated having to write this one but I respect you too much to pussyfoot around the topic.
I will say this TMW5T, I definitely think you deserve a deeply respectful love. A relationship with solid foundations. You deserve to know the contentment found in fighting without fear of rejection. The kind of fighting that I call the “For not Against” type.
See, people with this aspect fear confrontation out of an even bigger fear of rejection. They haven’t yet experienced a love that has no intention of leaving. The kind of fighting that is all about saving instead of destroying a connection. Fighting is actually good for lovers. It helps them uncover issues and work through them as a committed partnership. The kind of fighting most people think of as “fighting” is the kind I refer to as “fighting against” their connection. These kinds of arguments are all about hurting one another through pride and (honestly) a lack of respect for their partnership. There are clear differences between these two types. “Fighting for” their connection involves respectful boundaries. No name calling, no wounding, no threats and above all a committed approach to fighting as a means to problem solve instead of a means to get their own way. No selfish motives. Only love. If you learn the joy of this type of communication in love, you will learn what it feels like to not hold back parts of yourself in fear of being abandoned.
The warmer parts of this aspect is a native who really loves a beautiful home atmosphere. They like a peaceful abode with a soothing and restful decor.
These natives have a great love of animals and a deep loving empathy that they also get from their mum. These lovely emotional natives long for real companionship. They want that connection, that easing of the mind and soul that can only come from being with someone who loves them unconditionally. They are soo soo easily hurt because they are the very image of a loving soul themselves.
Phew. I feel better now. Don’t be mad at me k? Actually, I kinda like your mum. When you look at each other I can tell there is deep love there. Anyone who loves you like that is awesome sauce in my book.