Sun Square Midheaven


Ok. Not sugar-coating. Squares are challenging aspects and this one is his. He’s got a lot of assertive behavior, this guy. Sometimes he pushes his own agenda and others recognize this and push back. They sense his desire is only for himself and his ego in this is not always his friend. Life can be difficult in situations where he leads with his ego. Most of the time, his warm Virgo attributes balance this out but, in areas where he’s seeking to “impress” people his challenge here manifests itself hard and sorry to say, ugly.

When young this manifested as a smart-ass vibe that made older authority figures react with aggression, not liking a young person acting like he’s lived a big life while his age put a stamp on how untrue that in fact actually was.

As an emerging adult he will learn these same authority figures were actually important to his development but, in youth, he will just be frustrated by them and encounter much conflict.

Much of this is actually as a result of the conflict between himself and his own father. His father was very likely quite domineering and this brought out the rebellious need to get out from beneath him and assert his own rights. A stubbornness that had lack of anchoring and simply manifested in lots of angry confrontations with anyone slightly resembling that same dynamic even if the one he was standing up to actually, in fact, meant well by the interaction. To be blunt..this guy came out swinging even when the person was trying to be helpful. His feelings about his father colored his reactions to any and all authority shown his way.

This is a shadow he must work through as an adult. This simultaneous dislike of anyone having authority over him and his horror at recognizing this behaviour within himself as an older man.

He will have issues with allowing himself to be soft and gentle, having learnt from this dominate father that his naturally occuring gentleness of manner is not acceptable. The truth will, of course, be that he is extremely soft and gentle but, has been taught through negative conditioning, not to be comfortable with this side of himself.

As he works this shadow he will discover that his father was most probably projecting his own negative conditioning upon his child and that the way his father treated him had nothing to actually do with him.

This can be a blessing in disguise, in that, this truth means he can put this  responsibility aside and let that weight fall from him, since the issue was never actually about himself. He can then turn to seeing himself with more self-compassion. This is done by embracing his rather fine gentler qualities..which, given the rest of his chart, are extremely beautiful and far more transforming for him. His chart has a natural male quality that exhibits itself quite readily therefore, he need have no concerns about whether this masculinity is apparent to others.

The area where he has the most trouble, is in allowing his more sensitive attributes to show. He covers them up frantically but, because his feminine side is actually his coping strength he will find others recognizing them even when he desperately attempts to disguise they exist.

The reason is, of course, that he is both. His warmth and sweet romantic side is what makes him approachable to more skittish personalities. They will be drawn to him and trust him where they would not trust others and he will actually subconsciously recognize this and soften more frequently when around them (just another example of how his soft side is one of his greatest strengths). His strong masculine aspects give an air of unconscious competence and purity of conviction. To be honest, this guy in balance is a hard man to resist, both as a friend and a lover. If only he will address himself to reclaiming his right to be soft and silly, he will find much happiness.

He instinctively feels this wacky side inside him. This need to play and possibly a growing desire to be a father himself, whilst fearing how he will go about parenting. His one goal is to find a way to be himself without wearing a conditioned mask. That…that is his secret dream.

Published by Bexley Benton. (Pen name)

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog.

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