Venus Conjunct Mars


These two planets are quite different from one another which, quite frankly, can cause some problems in the area of love.

Imagine passive, lovable Venus crashing head-first into active, aggressive Mars. What you get is a complicated lover.

Mars wants to be assertive, so what’s he assertive about? Love!

This sweet, romantic guy can totally transform into a gremlin when hurt or misunderstood. He’s a pouty, frustrated, mass of pride, pettiness, and aggressive “I want my way and this is war!” responsiveness.

The flip-side to this, is that he’s also willing to fight his ass off for the relationship!  He’ll get in there and fight for his love until he drops. Loving someone means back to back, hand-in-hand support and this side of this native truly shines. It’s also why his occasional pouty rant is quickly forgiven by his loved ones. Because this guy, he may be a pain in the butt when he’s not getting his way, but his commitment to that love is something extremely rare and beautiful.

For this native love means fighting for or fighting with. We all prefer the fighting for, but sometimes he starts a bit of something, something because he secretly worries you aren’t seeing him anymore. Soo, he sulks, picks fights, or deliberately sabotages something, just to test you.

In some cases, this aspect pops up when a native has received a twisted up example in childhood of this specific dynamic.

He grows up around passionate fighting or frequent shouting matches as an example of communication between loved ones. In this natives mind, it’s not love if they don’t butt heads or get heated. For them, they tend to assume that if they aren’t fighting with you, or you with them, that you aren’t keeping the relationships passion alive.

Love gets this guy every time. He cares, deeply and endlessly, but he simply doesn’t understand that good relationships don’t need active fighting to continue to be productive. Connecting to one another is the important bit. Fighting isn’t always a sign of passion, sometimes it’s a sign that communication is lacking.

The lesson here that this native needs to understand, is that passionate fights sometimes occur because people are forcing needed communication when they fight. Fighting pulls what’s bothering both parties out into the light. The thing is, this type of angry communication by force puts a strain on the relationship. It doesn’t strengthen, it weakens.

What truly needs to be embraced is communication. Actively and honestly speaking hard truths with the one they love and bravely allowing the one they love to do the same. Confronting a need to share their true feelings, instead of holding them in until an argument forces it to a head, will help them pinpoint issues and FIGHT FOR and NOT AGAINST the relationship.

Many with this aspect feel a need to be in a relationship. They have an inner drive to “Find the one” that drives them. This drive can actually ruin their focus and their calm.

They fret over it. They pick themselves and their “potential lover” to bits worrying about it. They grow deeply fearful that they won’t be enough or have enough to keep their lover interested. That the “true them” isn’t what their lover wants. They might even attempt to wear the mask of what they “think” their lover wants, but which they can never truly maintain forever, and (let’s be honest) probably didn’t even need in the first place.

They might worry about having or being enough. Which is quite sad because part of loving someone is loving the dwerpy little dorky ways of your person. The imperfection they think is needing to be eradicated, just might be the small bit their partner secretly adores for the simple fact that it’s “their dorky thing”

Perfection truly isn’t needed. What’s needed, truly, is a strong commitment to just talking about things that crop up and letting the one they love show them bit-by-bit, that they are loved…just as they are (part of the fun of loving someone is learning those bits of goofy , sometimes annoying, sometimes silly and always slightly flawed realness that is that other person…trust me)

This native is sexy. He loves passionate sex. He’s got ideas and he’s going to make you pant. That’s the upside. Your definitely in for a passionate lover with this guy.

The downside, is that this guy draws people attracted only to passionate sex. Passionate sex is great, but pairing up with someone for passion in the bedroom, can lead to the bedroom being the only place that he feels himself connect deeply or appreciated properly.

It’s also a problem if it draws someone exactly the same as himself. Why? Because 2 warriors in a relationship lead to swords drawn elsewhere. Passionate feeling outside the bedroom, can lead to major upheaval and dramatic fighting. Public arguments. Loud and hurtful shouting matches. Vengeful and childish behaviours and emotional scars that destroy the relationships integrity.

It can also lead to turmoil and disconnection from feeling love more deeply. It can lead to a surface lover existence without the depth of feeling this native truly craves throughout his relationship, not just inside the bedroom.

My advice?

Find someone you connect to as a friend. Someone who sees every single flaw and failure. Then, pay close attention to how they respond to you on that human level. Start with flirting and deny yourself that passionate quick leap into bed. Go slow and let that sexy side simmer. Focus on deeper connections. Do they understand you? Do they have a habit of confronting issues? Working on disagreements? Do they like things about you that are somewhat less than perfect? (For example, I like TMW5T’s squirrel hair. It sticks up because he takes his hat off for photos and that little bit of him being human makes me smile.)

The secret to finding the right sort of connection, is to love yourself, truly..deeply, honestly..and not to settle for anyone who doesn’t also love you as yourself.

Love is funny. The bits that make love strongest, are the bits that we sometimes feel most nervous or self-conscious about.

Like patchy beards and goofy laughs. Like restless fingers and overactive imaginations. Like snoring and farting. Like saggy bottoms and squirrel hair.

The person who loves you, loves you..not the labels, masks and facades we place upon ourselves.

Love knows what can’t be seen with the eye..it knows that which is known deeply, mysteriously, within the heart.

And P.s., in case you wondered, I love TMW5T because of not only the shiny, pure, and beautiful bits of himself, I like the challenges and the struggles. I’ve come to know him quite well from these notes and I’ll tell you what, his faults make me like him more..because, these faults make him seem more approachable and human. They make me pay attention. Faults make people learn how to argue, how to compromise, how to truly love someone.  I love TMW5T just as he is, very, very much.

 

 

Published by Bexley Benton. (Pen name)

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog.

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