Spoiler alert** This post contains sexual content and Bekki, completely embarrassing herself with the voice in her OWN mind. Proceed with caution. And hopefully without any children under 18 nearby. If you are under 18..or ARE MY SON! Hit the bricks.
Ok. Soo. I talk to the voice in my brain. It’s just something I do ok? Stop judging me…I’m a writer. It’s a thing.
I woke up and immediately went to go pee and brush my teeth.
While brushing my teeth I began my usual dorky commentary, it went like this:
“Good morning B!”
” Morning Me.”
“Brushing my teeth. I can feel the cavity in the back this morning, shouldn’t have eaten that sucker last night. Bad for teeth. I should use the Listerine but it’s the original and it’s soo disgusting. I didn’t know the original version was soo disgusting. It’s the most disgusting thing I have ever put into my mouth.”
As I climbed back into my bed (Cause I like to lounge around when talking to myself in my own brain) brain responded with..(and yes this is where it gets a bit raunchy.)
“Well, not the most disgusting thing!”
“OMG! Stop! Now that’s in my head.”
::realised what I said and tried to be nonchalant but voice in brain is ..um .err..inconveniently located…IN MY BRAIN!
Soo..voice in brain began hysterically laughing. And that set me off laughing..because..come on! That was truly unintended gold. If that comment was made to my friends, I’d hear about it for days, months, years afterwards.
Then, I unthinkingly did what I always do in these damned situations. I capped it and made it worse by getting embarrassed and saying things without thinking first.
” Oh, my gosh. I’m soo embarrassed. My face is all red.”
::Pause to catch my breath:: “You suck.”
Voice in brain hysterically laughs again and I really really die now.
Does voice in brain leave it alone? Nope. Nope. Nope. Voice in brain has to add the final coup de grâce.
“No, but apparently YOU do!”
:::Extreme laughter continues until tears are rolling down my face.:::
Even in my own brain I am a doof.