I don’t think you understand


I don’t think you understand.
My friendships aren’t instant coffee. Lasting just a second, a minute, a day.
It takes me ages to decide about you. To contemplate you, break you down, add you up. It’s not about finding flaws, it’s about finding fire. It’s about seeing if you are worth this commitment that I call me, loving you. It’s about this living thing inside you. Will it grow? Can it fight? Does it sing?

My friendship is firm because I see you. I see you when I love you. I see deep into who you are. Who you want to be. Who you need to become.

I will fight beside you. I will bleed along with you. Scream to the heavens and sing to the stars. I will be there.

Through addiction, loss and poverty. I am there.
Through self mutilation, crippling fear, and confusion. I am there.
Through distrust and agonized despair. I am there.
This friendship is not just for parties. It’s not for weekend outings and silly shopping trips. Though, these things might fill our time some days, these aren’t the days I’m talking about. It’s for those other days. Those days when the only thing we have to hold onto, is one another.

That is the investment I give when I call you my friend.

I don’t select friends lightly.
I am not swayed by income, looks or popularity.
If you are friend to me, you are my family and family isn’t about surface.
If you want me to be your friend, you need to be ready.

I will only ever offer once.

Published by Bexley Benton. (Pen name)

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog.

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