As a Capricorn, I rarely tell anyone when my days are emotional ones. I keep myself, to myself. We Cappies don’t like to share our sadness because it makes us feel unprepared and off guard. We don’t like being vulnerable. So, generally only my pillow knows my saddest moments.
The strange off-shoot of this, is that people think this means you are never sad. That the smiles and laughter you project into every working moment, indicates an unflappably happy person. They are therefore, terribly unprepared when something grabs you publicly and you can’t hold the hurt in. My co-workers always look quite uncomfortable anytime I get a bit emotional (thank goodness it’s a rarity)
I’m not always happy. Sometimes I get sad. They are not all good days.
They don’t need to all be sunshine. They don’t always have to be uncluttered. We are, all of us, still growing, learning and becoming.
Though, I try to show only my best, I do sometimes also have shadows to work on. Just in case you thought I always had my shit together..here is proof (though I hate this photo) that I do, indeed, contain very fragile human bits. And no, I’m definitely NOT a pretty crier.
It took me 20 minutes to decide on a photo that didn’t make me want to immediately delete it. I still want to though, cause it feels weird to post a photo of yourself having a cry and not want to cringe. I just want people to feel less like everyone else is something they aren’t. It’s ok..we are, all of us, extremely human. Even though we pretend we have all the answers…the truth is..we’re a mess. We are a brave, soppy, cringy mess..and that’s ok.
Because we are alive, and living.