Don’t tell Shay


Don’t tell Shay, but I cried today. See, my sister had her operation, a hysterectomy, to remove a fibrous tumor.

Not much scares me when it comes to my own life, I live every day so that, should it be my last one, I have no regrets. Which is why, I have taken (in the last 10 years) to saying the things inside me, that I feel, without hesitation. I don’t want regrets..so I make sure that, in every waking moment, I speak the things I feel, feel the feelings, and hold back nothing.

However, when it comes to my closest people…those rare and special people who know all my deepest realities, I get terribly terribly frightened they might go away. It’s part of my fear of abandonment thing.

I always seem to cry after I have confirmed the person is ok..never before or during..I’m not sure what that reveals about me.

As far as Shay knows, I just teased her about her glasses (which she hates but had to wear in the hospital) and called her a zombie (which I refuse to explain as it’s a private joke) so, don’t tell her I cried ok? Our secret.

Ps. Here’s a photo of Shay in her ultra stylish hospital gown. (Not the one with her in glasses..cause she’d murder me) Still, don’t tell her I showed you…she might bite me..and then I’d be a zombie too.

The doctor said the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. I am soo glad they caught it. I was such a mess after I hung up with her….don’t tell her that either (she’d feel bad). I am soo soo thankful she’s ok.

Published by Bexley Benton. (Pen name)

I am B (call me BB and I will gut you) I like daisies, books, and men who understand the wisdom of Kermit the Frog.

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