I saw this Instagram vid with a guy saying that every girls friends warn guys that if they ever hurt their friend they will hurt him. He laughed and said he thinks that’s funny “What you gonna do? No really? What you gonna do? Nothing!”
Ohh….you really don’t know me that we’ll do you? See, I’m a Capricorn bitch with a Virgo Moon and a Gemini Rising..that combination is very telling. How would I ruin your life? Let me give you a few ideas of the extent I’m willing to go for those very few people I call family.
These are just a few of the things I will add to my campaign to destroy you…one or two of these..you ask? No sweetheart…ALL of these..and more..soo soo much more.
When you go to the movies…I’m that bitch gonna pay people to sit next to you and talk through the movie.
When you go to a restaurant. I’m that bitch gonna pay the waiter to mess up your order and give you ghost peppers on your burger, accidentally spill a drink in your lap, AND ignore your every request for attention. I’ll even promise them extra insurance money if they end up getting fired helping me.
I’ll pay for Subscriptions to magazines YOU don’t want people seeing you subscribed to. I’ll send you packages in the mail that are guaranteed to raise eyebrows (If it’s something you hate passionately I’m sending extra), I’ll cover your lawn with Supporter signs for whatever political side you HATE most.
I’ll pay people to act like you are the cheating boyfriend in front of your girl.
I’ll cancel reservations, appointments, and flights by pretending to be you.
I’ll enroll you in a subscription box of the most god awful thing I can find. Brick of the month club? Yes, please. Spork of the month club? Absolutely!
I’ll pay your neighbors on both sides to play loud music at all hours, to mock fight at 2 am, to let their dog crap in your yard.
Ooohh honey! You really have no idea what I can do if I set my mind to it. Soo..do yourself a favor sweetcheeks…don’t. hurt. my. friends! That friendly warning was me being polite. I don’t just talk…I have excellent plotting capabilities, a very creative mind…and I’m really, really patient. I don’t forget and I can play the long game.
The stuff listed above isn’t illegal either.