Well, hell

I was going to do at least 3 translations of my notes from my natal chart tonight but, Lilith in Capricorn has triggered me harsh. I resemble her soo much that I started crying. It’s sometimes very very hard to write my truths out there for everyone to read. Forgive me, but I need to take time and just let this healing happen.

I am no longer that person, but I see her in the mirror sometimes. I’m determined to continue..she’s worth the effort, my inner me.

Bekki

Thoughtful day

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today. I planned on doing the astrology bits a lot earlier, but my soul decided it needed contemplation more. So, I sewed..and I sewed, and I sewed. I did my laundry and listen-watched NCIS on an endless loop as I did the abovementioned sewing. My sewing is meditation.

I have a thing I call “The knowing” inside me, and it connects me to my spiritual journey. I don’t know how to explain the knowing..I just…feel it.

Today, I know my journey is taking me somewhere. Like most people, I want to steer the boat to where I want it to go. Of course, that’s not how this stuff works.

So, while I want to have all the answers and all my dreams right now, now, now! I know, that this isn’t the time yet. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what role I will take, but I DO know, that it will be the right thing when it happens. In my bones I am not worried. I may be super impatient, but I trust that the “knowing” is inside me for a reason.

I will just trust.

My advice?

I am not afraid to wait, I’m just worried that my journey is worrying about me as much as I worry about it. Funny how that happens.

Divine timing. Don’t give up..it will happen when your soul is ready. Let the knowing guide you. It is your soul speaking to you.

Oh, my goodness!

The poem “Long Live the Queen” was written for my boss’s daughter and she just asked permission to share it on FB. Her comment took me off guard and I am really, really chuffed right now! Everyone is saying such lovely things.

(The comments have red covering people’s names to protect their privacy.)

Truly, I am soo spoiled.

You can find the poem here

Natal Astrology update

Ok, so I did 2 translations of my notes tonight. Remember those links can be found under the drop-down menu under “My Natal Notebook” the two I did today are Neptune in Sagittarius and Pluto in Libra. As I back-date all my entries to my date of birth, it might be best to just go to the links directly and click them (the list is, as I mentioned, in the drop down under “My Natal Notebook”)

I only did 2 today as I really would like to get some sewing in this evening. I’ll try to do 3-4 more tomorrow.

Oops!

I fell back to sleep. I meant to get up and go shopping. Apparently, I am very, very tired after yesterday’s extreme workday.

Every time I think I’ve just experienced a bad rush day worse than any I have ever seen, the universe makes a point of proving me wrong in the next week following (I gotta stop doing that!) Yesterday was totally epic! I am incredibly, incredibly thankful for my team-mates. I never would have made it through that without you. Holy hell!

It’s not even Thanksgiving week yet!

Ok. I’m getting up now and going shopping.

I’ll work on my Astrology after I get home. Damn, my back hurts.

Storytime

This meme reminded me of a childhood story, so I’m gonna go ahead and post it.

When I was a kid, my mum had a boyfriend named, Wayne. He was an asshole, but also just a guy who liked to hunt a lot.

One time, he decided to go spotlighting. Apparently, spotlighting is a task you do, as a hunter, to determine where the local deer can be found prior to going out and shooting them.

You literally shine a big fucking spotlight on quiet fields, in the middle of the night, like the worst peepshow artist in the world. Illuminating placid deer in an extremely bright light, when they least expect it, was really something one never forgets (I sure never did). The oddness of this act truly cannot be overstated.

In retrospect, I’m pretty sure the guy just wanted some fucking time alone, but my mum wasn’t having it. She loaded every last kid (4 of us) into the car with him (at 9 o’clock at night) and acted like “Let’s all go for a nice drive in the country!” Yeah….sure. That’s a perfect idea! Stick 4 kids in a car going absolutely fucking nowhere! That won’t end badly, nope.

30 minutes into the entire process and all 4 kids were at each others throats. Wayne was getting the full kid effect. He was ALSO getting super pissed…because we hadn’t seen a single. damned. deer.

My mother, who always tried to pacify uber-pissed-every-waking-moment-guy, quickly scanned for a deer, (any deer would do)..she spotted movement in a nearby field and yelled out the forever fatal words “Look! Deer! Over there! A whole herd of them!” Quickly, Wayne turned his spotlight on and pointed it into the nearby field, where he illuminated an entire herd of.. Cows.

Now, this proved to be the last straw for the now enraged Uber-dork-boyfriend, and he soon thereafter gave up the quest. It was a failure to him, but fucking delighted us kids to a level of unbridled hilarity never to be seen again in life.

Defeated, uber-dork-boyfriend drove home while we kids howled in laughter and filed this moment away for the future.

Flash forward to every single car trip for the next 10 years. Anytime a herd of cows came into view, a child’s voice would pipe up “Look mom! Deer!”

We really were tiny assholes.

Continuing my Astrology Translations

I have both my own chart to finish, and the Synastry and Composite charts I have for TMW5T and myself. I used my “favorite person” as my 2nd person during the time I was learning about Synastry and Composite charts, and through the work on those charts, he came to mean quite a lot to me. I am tempted to leap into that work first, but I know I really need to complete my own personal chart first.. soo I am bring firm with myself.

I’ll work on the translation posts on my days off (Sundays and Mondays). I tend to do 2-3 at a time.

As usual, I will back-date the personal charts for the birthdate of the person in question. For the Synastry/ Composite I’ll be backdating them to 11/11/2009 (for personal reasons)