Taking time away

I will be walking away from my blog for a little while. There is something I need to confront in the area of my heart. I have a TF but we’ve never met. This path isn’t an easy one. Spiritually I feel a bit burnt out.

I don’t really talk about such things as Twin Flames on my blog.

I think I need to be at peace and let what lessons exist to come.

I hope you understand.

Bedtime Quote:

Harry’s letter to his daughter:

If I could give you just one thing, I’d want it to be a simple truth that took me many years to learn. If you learn it now, it may enrich your life in hundreds of ways. And it may prevent you from facing many problems that have hurt people who have never learned it.

The truth is simply this: No one owes you anything.

Significance

How could such a simple statement be important? It may not seem so, but understanding it can bless your entire life.

No one owes you anything.

It means that no one else is living for you, my child. Because no one is you. Each person is living for himself; his own happiness is all he can ever personally feel.

When you realize that no one owes you happiness or anything else, you’ll be freed from expecting what isn’t likely to be.

It means no one has to love you. If someone loves you, it’s because there’s something special about you that gives him happiness. Find out what that something special is and try to make it stronger in you, so that you’ll be loved even more.

When people do things for you, it’s because they want to — because you, in some way, give them something meaningful that makes them want to please you, not because anyone owes you anything.

No one has to like you. If your friends want to be with you, it’s not out of duty. Find out what makes others happy so they’ll want to be near you.

No one has to respect you. Some people may even be unkind to you. But once you realize that people don’t have to be good to you, and may not be good to you, you’ll learn to avoid those who would harm you. For you don’t owe them anything either.

Living your Life

No one owes you anything.

You owe it to yourself to be the best person possible. Because if you are, others will want to be with you, want to provide you with the things you want in exchange for what you’re giving to them.

Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When that happens, look elsewhere for the relationships you want. Don’t make someone else’s problem your problem.

Once you learn that you must earn the love and respect of others, you’ll never expect the impossible and you won’t be disappointed. Others don’t have to share their property with you, nor their feelings or thoughts.

If they do, it’s because you’ve earned these things. And you have every reason to be proud of the love you receive, your friends’ respect, the property you’ve earned. But don’t ever take them for granted. If you do, you could lose them. They’re not yours by right; you must always earn them.

My Experience

A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out —physically and emotionally — trying to collect them.

No one owes me moral conduct, respect, friendship, love, courtesy, or intelligence. And once I recognized that, all my relationships became far more satisfying. I’ve focused on being with people who want to do the things I want them to do.

That understanding has served me well with friends, business associates, lovers, sales prospects, and strangers. It constantly reminds me that I can get what I want only if I can enter the other person’s world. I must try to understand how he thinks, what he believes to be important, what he wants. Only then can I appeal to someone in ways that will bring me what I want.

And only then can I tell whether I really want to be involved with someone. And I can save the important relationships for those with whom I have the most in common. It’s not easy to sum up in a few words what has taken me years to learn. But maybe if you re-read this gift each Christmas, the meaning will become a little clearer every year.

I hope so, for I want more than anything else for you to understand this simple truth that can set you free: no one owes you anything.
Harry Browne

Joseph Lallo always gives me the giggles

Seriously! I’m reading Temporal Contingency and it straight up caused me to giggle inappropriately long.

Lex is being tortured by not one, but 2 versions of the AI computer system called “Ma”. One is the AI for the really small ship he is using called “Lump of Coal” and the other is an AI animal, which resembles a hybrid of a Fox and a Skunk, which he calls a Funk. They just decided to make life easier for Lex by naming the “Ma” ship version Coal, and leaving the Funk version as the originally name of “Ma” as Lex was getting confused. The ship version has been degrading from errors in her system and suggested that she be deleted. The conversation that followed made me giggle a lot. Especially as the “S-list” has been mentioned in previous books.

I’m posting the highlighted text below. Truly, Joseph Lallo always makes his characters vivid, sometimes hilariously annoying, and still somehow quite sweetly endearing. I highly recommend reading his many different book series’. The Freewrench series is my absolute favorite of them all, though the Big Sigma series IS a close second.

 

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Just me and my selfie

When I’m bored, or feeling particularly goofy (which is pretty often) I take selfies until I start laughing. Recently, I figured out how to get my cell to take 4 photos in rapid bursts 3-5 seconds after each shot. (It took awhile because it uses hand gestures and after trying for 15 minutes I was contemplating a whole new hand gesture I wanted to use on it..if you know what I mean)

Anyway, the hilarity began when I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my boobs kept getting in the way..no, seriously! Those bitches are photo hogs!

The last 2 photos had me laughing hysterically for 10 minutes straight. I straight up sounded like a wounded goose I was laughing soo hard.

Ugly pictures are the best. Comedy gold!

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Let’s get mysterious

While at the donation shop I spotted these books under the series Annie’s Mysteries. I was intrigued by the fact that each book, while it shares the same main character, is actually written by a collection of different authors. I bought 7 of them and I am totally looking forward to seeing how each author takes on the same character but manages to keep their own individual style and writing voice. Call me interested!

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That’s healthy, right?

I’m in the middle of intense trade negotiation with my Topps trading card app and might have kinda, sorta, possibly just had a microwaved chicken sandwich and a handful of popcorn as my evening meal. That’s…acceptable…right?

In my defense I did have Caesar salad for lunch..while I was sewing my current Blackwork obsession.

I am totally knee deep in projects today and loving every minute of it.

I went bargain shopping and bought the most beautiful Chinese tea set. I cannot wait to offer visitors tea from it.

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Oh, and my friends Hannah and Anne in the UK sent me an adorable Bee keychain as a present. My heart melted. Isn’t he adorbs?

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I’m crying like a baby and I don’t care who knows

I have been writing about TMW5T for a very long time. What started as an attempt to understand him better, has become a healing of my own. He is in my head, you see? This person has become the voice in my head, the one that understands me, challenges me, delights me, because soo much of his way, is similar or challenging to my own way.

It’s eerie in some ways, the balance and flow that exists between our signs. His chart makes me think long thoughts and have strangely healing conversations with myself. By learning him, I have also learned myself.

I have a strange understanding of his hidden shadows. My own shadows force me to understand shadows on a deeper level than most people. I have never met the man, and yet..I know him in a way I did not at the start of this project. No one can truly know all of another person, certainly..but we can recognise aspects of ourselves when it is mirrored by someone else. In this, I know him in a way that gives me goosebumps.

So then, my project has ended. I will no longer immerse my innocent soul in his sunshine. I will miss him, very much.

And soo, I am crying. I am crying because “The end is also the beginning” and I am not sure what’s next but, I know I will be changed. I am already changed.

Each day I become. My deepest hope is that what I become is something good.

TMW5T is on a journey, a path, a lifetime struggle..and I know in my bones that one day he will cry like a baby in joy, knowing he has finally become exactly who he wasn’t even aware he wanted to be. He is already changing.

In 2009 I was awakened. That awakening lead me here. His photograph was the trigger. This project, is my thank you.

Bekki

Tarot/Astrology Crossover

Isn’t it weird when Astrology and Tarot form a connection? It’s like the universe saying “Yes! This is definitely you!”

Just thought I’d share the card I pulled for TMW5T’S. Clearly, since it’s reversed, he needs to re-read his Virgo Sun in the 12th house, Cancer Moon in the 11th house, and POF in Cancer.

 

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I’ve summarized all 3 below:

Virgo Sun, 12th house.

“This native needs to be particularly conscious of the habit of staying in relationships whereby they are doing everything for their partners. They are so generous and helpful that their partners might fall into the habit of letting this native do everything for them, to the point that, they become entirely dependent and lose their sense of individualism, the very thing that probably made the Virgo Sun native notice them in the first place.

This habit can be destructive for the native, as they unconsciously create within their partner, a personality conflict that over-time, they will come to resent, even if they are, in fact, the reason this trait manifested in the first place.

Being aware of this habit is key to avoiding it. This native needs a partner that has a high sense of individualism or independence about them. The native will feel uncomfortable with this independent behavior, because of their natural bad habit to over-nurture and needs to be aware that this discomfort is actually because they are being forced into a balance that has, thus far, been absent within their life. This growth might be painful, but it’s also completely beneficial.

Despite this annoy trait in their partner of being “Too Independent” this type of partner is exactly what our Virgo Sun in the 12th house needs to be healthy and in proper balance with their chosen mate. By being consciously aware of this trait and the fact that it will “annoy” them slightly, they can actually come to enjoy the friction of building healthy boundaries.”

Cancer Moon, 11th house

“If he takes care of someone too much he dissolves his connection to his masculine identity. He starts to forget his purpose and his role in the relationship. Which is why he needs, needs, needs to embrace the need for healthy boundaries. Hers and his own.”

Part of Fortune in Cancer:

“Fear of being left alone, fear of a lack of control, fear of conflict.

When they were young, this native may have had a tendency to let others have their way. From wanting to please everyone and disliking conflict, they might have become known as “the easy-going one”. The problem is that people aren’t always wanting to be “easy” on the inside. As a result, there might be a bit of self-repression going on. Those with this issue fear the conflict that would come from speaking their mind and letting all that pent up anger out. They may have lived a life of passivity with an underlying anger and/or self-recrimination for not standing their ground more thoroughly.”

“Basically, people are allowed to be a cranky bastard on occasion, it’s ok. No, really! It’s ok to not go along with something just because it isn’t something one feels like doing. You don’t have to give up what you want just so someone else is happy all the time.”

Kinda scary accurate isn’t it?

 

Nobody ever gets my jokes

At work a co-worker teased me after I startled him by unexpectedly showing up when he didn’t anticipate it. He responded with “Where did you come from?” My answer was cheeky “Heaven!” He laughed and responded “You were probably hatched from a turtles egg.” to which I even more cheekily replied “Nope. I was raised by Wolves!!” at which point I completely lost it laughing.

Nobody gets my jokes.

I’ll explain, my maiden name is Wolf, so I was, quite literally, raised by Wolves!
Har har har!!
I’m hilarious…just ask me.

The little bee beside you

When you are lost,
I will light every candle I own to help you find your way.

When you can’t eat from worry,
I will invent 300 new recipes to tempt your tummy to turn traitor.

When you cry,
I will sit beside you with an extra large box of tissues, a tub of ice cream, and my shoulder which, as always, is just for you.

When you are happy,
I will light fireworks that sizzle, zip, whiz, and bang.

When you are lonely,
I will mount excursions over your garden wall and onto your windowpane.

When you are afraid, I will make shadow puppets and sing a simple but heartfelt song.

No matter what comes, or what will be.
I will be there for you
Just as you will be there for me.

Home sweet home!

I am such a home-loving girl! Although I have a deep love of travel, nothing feels quite as nice as coming home.

I didn’t sleep as well during my vacation (black walls, loud noises and a lack of my things around me) and that was pretty obvious when I got home.

I have this strange thing about planes. Even on 9 hour flights to the UK I can’t bring myself to sleep on a plane. I have a unique ability to stay awake for about 24 hours before I need to sleep.

This ability comes as a result of traveling back-and-forth from PA to Florida on a number of occasions with an ex-husband who is prone to falling asleep at the wheel. (Imagine the most freaked-out awake person you can imagine and that was me on these trips)

Since I didn’t drive myself (there is a reason for this trust me!) I always was made to feel quite responsible and guilty for not assisting in the driving. If my ex had been even a little less rigid about spending money for a hotel for the night, we might not have had any issues. Anyway, the need to watch him earned me a special ability to stay awake.

So, basically, I tend to collapse into sleep the moment it is safe to do so. (This was once to the great amusement of my ex in the UK as this often meant driving me to his flat with me completely passed out in his back-seat after picking me up from the airport) (I always get jet lag…always.)

When I got to the airport I had to negotiate (plead and beg) for a taxi to pick me up, which they did. I then took my arse off to the grocery store because I have no food in my frig (I have food in my freezer, but mama needs some V8 splash ok!!)

Once I did finally unpack and chill the f out, I was much better. (I can’t relax until I’ve completely unpacked and set everything to rights first)

I know I was happy to be home because I fell asleep the minute I let myself lie down at about 8 pm. I woke this morning at 11 am. That’s a lot of snoring.

Now there is giant mountain of laundry silently laughing at me. Sigh*

Work tomorrow. Hmmm..

B🐝